(you will love) my milk toof: the adventures of ickle and Lardee

So last week this adorable book magically appeared in my mailbox.

A surprise from my good friend Sylvia, who knows my love for whimsical, quirky things. I usually don’t go out of my way to read about teeth, even though I like my James Taylor-loving, tells-funny-stories dentist who wears crisp plaid shirts and likes to sing while he drills. And I really hadn’t given much thought to the whereabouts of all those baby teeth I handed over to the Tooth Fairy once upon a time.

 

But now, Inhae Lee’s new book has me wondering. Never in a million years would I have ever considered the possibility that “teeth” could be cute. I know what you’re thinking: there’s cute, and then there’s too cute.  It’s a slippery slope. Not unlike eating something too cold and getting brain freeze, or having your teeth hurt from biting into something too sweet. But Ms. Lee gets it just right.

 

Maybe you already know ickle and Lardee from the Milk Toof blog, where this very talented Berkeley-based artist has been chronicling tiny teef adventures since 2009:

Continue reading

friday feast: peeling it back with j. patrick lewis (the top banana)

Top Banana by shutterbugdeb

I must confess to feeling quite yellow today.

Not yellow as in dingy or cowardly.

Yellow as in sunshiny bright and slap happy. It’s all because I’ve just read a poem that feels like it was written just for me. ☺

Oh, at last! Somebody understands! Somebody KNOWS. And it’s our  Children’s Poet Laureate, no less. Phew! I thought I was the only one. Yes, we have some bananas today.

 

BANANA STRINGS
by J. Patrick Lewis

Why not divide the world in two:
Those who don’t from those who do
Detest banana strings? Do you?

I wish bananas just came plain
Without that long mushy membrane,
That nauseating food chain chain.

Take a banana, then start to peel.
Now tell the truth, how does it feel?
And don’t ask me, What’s the big deal?

If I so much as see a string,
I tweezer off the ugly thing
As gummy as a bathtub ring.

Would you eat hot dogs wearing hair?
No! Say good night to this nightmare.
Always eat your bananas bare.

Copyright © 2011 J. Patrick Lewis. All rights reserved.

While we’re in a bare bananas frame of mind, do you by chance also belong to the, “I’m the only one in my house who eats bananas, and hate when the entire bunch ripens at the same time” club? Oh, the pressure to eat them all!

This just in: There’s hope! Supposedly, if you peel a banana top to bottom with the stem side down (like monkeys do), the strings (phloem bundles) are less likely to adhere to the fruit.

I tried this with my breakfast banana the other day, and it didn’t work. Those strings were still clinging and messy and positively mocking me! What am I doing wrong? They just won’t leave me alone. But you might have better luck. My only consolation is that I have Pat’s poem, which I’ll henceforth read several times before battling any future strings.

Phloem bundles? Who knew they had such an important function — carrying nutrients to the entire fruit? Mother Nature doesn’t make any mistakes. But she sure likes to string us along (sorry, couldn’t resist). ☺

Thanks a bunch, Pat!

To alleviate your string stress, wrap your lips around this (no strings attached):

(click for Black Bottom Banana Cream Pie recipe)

♥ Today’s Poetry Friday Roundup host is Katie at Secrets and Sharing Soda. Feast on the full menu of poems and enjoy your weekend!

♥ Visit J. Patrick Lewis’s official website!

♥ For more monkey business, i.e., a “disturbing new fashion trend,” read this.

♥ To bask in more yellowness, click here.

♥ Yes, there is even a I Hate Banana Strings Facebook Page.

One more thing: Do you peel as you go, or take the entire peel off before eating? I like my bananas totally naked. ☺

————————————————————————–

Copyright © 2011 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.

friday feast: ogden nash mash

Happy Birthday to Ogden Nash!

America’s favorite humorist would have been 109 years old today. His poems and witticisms are part of America’s DNA; at one time or another, we’ve all heard Nashisms like, “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker,” “Parsley is gharsley,” and, “Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.”

A shot of his light verse is the sure cure for doldrums of any sort. He’s one of those poets whose style is so recognizable that even when you encounter lines he’s written that you’ve never seen before, you sort of nod, knowingly, and think, “this has got to be Ogden Nash.” Who else so deftly misspells words (or makes up his own), packs in the puns, teases the reader with irregular meter and lines of uneven length? He took great pleasure in the element of surprise, pulling out all the stops for comic effect.

Not too long ago, I purchased a collection of his food poems aptly embellished with Etienne Delessert’s droll illustrations. Whenever I’m in the mood for a laugh snack, I treat myself to a serving of Squab, Tarragon, Smelt, or Kippers (things I wouldn’t necessarily eat in real life, but find strangely palatable cooked up in Nash’s literary kitchen). Thought it would be fun to celebrate his birthday by featuring what is perhaps his most well known food poem. Just for today, you may also have all the virtual candy and/or liquor you please. Continue reading

friday feast: 13th century vittles


 Medieval Feast set in the Great Hall, Warwick Castle (photo by mharrsch).

Welcome, Lords and Ladies! 

There’s nothing like a little boar’s head on a platter to make me yearn for England. I always think about our Elizabethan banquet wedding reception in London, where a feisty wench passed around the boar’s head paté.

You probably know how much I love all things British.


 Warwick Castle photo by Andrew®.

That’s why I was quite excited when I came across Linda Ashman’s Come to the Castle! (Roaring Brook, 2009), a hilarious account of a Medieval banquet held in a 13th century castle. It mentions boar, as well as lots of other tantalizing dishes which brought back delicious memories of my visit to Warwick Castle (a great Medieval castle built by William the Conquerer). Ah yes — who doesn’t love rhapsodizing about, “Peacocks, pike and pigeons, capon, venison and boar,/Mutton, eel and mackerel, sturgeon, porpoise, pig and more!”


 Recommended for grades 2-4 (40 pages).

The book has already been thoroughly reviewed by Sylvia Vardel of Poetry for Children and Abby (the) Librarian, among others, so I thought I’d just share two of my favorite poems from it today. In Come to the Castle, the Earl of Daftwood, who has every creature comfort known to man, gets bored one day and decides to host an elaborate banquet and jousting tournament. Easy for him to say, since everyone else has to do all the work. Through lively poems, we hear the distinctive voices of each of the castle inhabitants, gaining insight into their lives, attitudes, and concerns. From steward to squire, herald to gong farmer, lady to knight — the sights, smells, and flavors of 13th century England come to uproarious life.

Continue reading

cause it’s boring being so good all the time: M is for Mischief by Linda Ashman and Nancy Carpenter

#22 in an ongoing series of posts celebrating the alphabet.

Well now, let’s be naughty, shall we?

And while we’re at it, let’s throw in picky, offensive, rude, talky, quarrelsome, nosy, annoying, smelly, selfish, terrible times two, and shockingly untidy. And that’s just for starters.

Linda Ashman’s M is for Mischief: An A to Z of Naughty Children, features 26 alphabrats, each described in deliriously rollicking, alliterative rhyme. Compared to these kids, Pigpen’s immaculate, Eloise, angelic, Genghis Khan, mild mannered and polite (“May I take over your country, please?”). One would be hard-pressed to find a noisier, more irritating bunch of rugrats anywhere in the civilized world. Tsk, tsk.

I dare say, if any of these urchins showed up on my doorstep, I’d immediately pack my bags and flee! Definitely wouldn’t want Daphne, the magic marker maniac, doodling all over the walls, furniture, just about everything in sight, including her father’s face. As you can see from the cover image, she’s doodled all over this book, too.

I positively tremble at the thought of meeting Catastrophic Coco, Fiendish Frankie, Mischievous Martin, Nagging Nora, and Rude Ruby. I imagine I’d be able to smell Offensive Oscar, who shuns the bath, from miles away. I’d rather not befriend a boy coated in dirt, with ooze on his oxfords, oil on his shirt, and yesterday’s oatmeal still clinging to his chin, thankyouverymuch.

Disobedient and maladjusted though they may be, these are brats we love to hate. Oh, the vicarious thrill! It’s just so much fun observing them from a safe distance, so satisfying when some of them get their just desserts. Ashman has done a brilliant job with her poetic portraits. I love the indefatigable wordplay and how each poem riffs on the featured letter. “Picky Penelope” begs to be read aloud; it’s a prim, pungent, pimply, perky, puny, painful passel of perfection. Plus, there’s pie:

Lest I appear negligent in my responsibility to this blog, I must declare Gluttonous Griffin the most delicious miscreant of them all. How I admire a boy with a good appetite! Dare I say, it’s easy to see why he would want to gobble the gherkins, guzzle the gravy, and glug a few gallons of guava juice. Burp!

 

Props aplenty to Nancy Carpenter for her ink and mixed media collages, which propel riotous misbehavior to the moon and back. She gives new meaning to the words, “holy terror,” through posturing and hilarious facial expressions, deftly depicting the unbridled tornado of energy and intensity that is childhood. Young readers who relish in devilry, mayhem, and the delectable act of provoking polite society will ask for repeated servings of this comical cache of cautionary counsel. Highly recommended!

M IS FOR MISCHIEF: An A to Z of Naughty Children by Linda Ashman
illustrated by Nancy Carpenter,
(Dutton, 2008), PB for ages 4-8, 32 pp.
Source of book: library copy

♥ Check out Linda Ashman’s official website!

♥ Blog Reviews:

Seven Impossible Things Before Breakfast
Bees Knees Reads
Poetry for Children

**Spreads posted by permission, text copyright © 2008 Linda Ashman, illustrations © 2008 Nancy Carpenter, published by Dutton Children’s Books. All rights reserved.

 Certified authentic alphabetica. Handmade just for you with love and a heapin’ helping of bad.

Copyright © 2010 Jama Rattigan of jama rattigan’s alphabet soup. All rights reserved.