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just for fun
this porridge will never be just right!
Charles Robinson, 1911
Just in time for the picnic, both Barbara O’Connor and Tadmack have posted this fictional editorial letter to the author of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It’s here, under the cut, for your amusement (original source of letter is unknown). You must read it, especially if you need cheering up today.
Dear Writer:
1) Why is the Mama Bear’s porridge too cold when the Papa Bear’s porridge is too hot? Didn’t they come out of the same cooking pot? Perhaps incorporate a description of the bowls in question, showing that Papa Bear’s bowl exposes less surface area so that the porridge is unable to cool. Is there a science lesson to be taught here? (Mama Bear’s bowl must be wide and shallow; etc.) Or perhaps Mama Bear’s bowl is made of thin porcelain, and Papa Bear’s bowl is made of earthenware? Please insert some text explaining this to our readers.
2) What is Goldilocks’ motivation for tasting and eating the porridge? Has she perhaps traveled a long distance through the woods? Is she hungry at home? A paragraph or two about what attracts her to the porridge (which may be unknown or unappealing to today’s children) may help us “get into her skin”.
3) The porridge section of the story seems comparatively static and goes on too long. Try to shorten it, so that we can get on to the more exciting “chair and bedroom” scenes, which deliver more emotional punch to the reader.
4) Is the child’s hair color significant? You allude to it in the opening paragraph, and then we don’t hear about it any more. We need more mentions of the child’s hair and its importance in the story.
5) Is it likely that Papa Bear would notice that the cushions of his chair are wrinkled before all three bears notice that Baby Bear’s chair lies in splinters? Reorder for better flow/avoid confusion.
6) Goldilocks’ pronouncements of “just right” seem predictable by the time she gets to the bedroom. Perhaps we could have a surprise in this scene–perhaps Mama Bear’s bed is the most comfortable! Or, alternatively, Goldilocks could start with the Baby Bear’s bed and progress to Papa Bear’s bed, carrying out the theme of her insatiable desire to “crib” what belongs to another.
7) Goldilocks’ reaction to the bears at the end of the story seems overwrought. Why does she flee from the house? Traditionally bears are considered dangerous, but the bears in this story have many human characteristics. They are vegetarians (as testified to by the porridge) and their house is furnished with chairs, beds, et cetera. In view of this, Goldilocks’ flight makes her seem wimpy and old fashioned. Today’s children will be more attracted to a spunky, feisty Goldilocks. Please tweak the ending a little!
Yesterday, I read Robert Southey’s, The Story of the Three Bears (1837), the most influential version of the tale, though not the earliest recorded one. It’s written in prose and part of a collection of essays called, “The Doctor.”
Surprising things I discovered:
the bears are all male, not a family unit,
Leslie Brook, 1905
the intruder, unnamed, is not a young girl, but an old woman,
Peter Newell, 1907
and the old woman is repeatedly chastised by the narrator, described as “naughty,” “impudent,” “bad,” with an “ugly, dirty head.”
Twelve years later, Joseph Cundall changed the old woman to a girl, because he felt there were already too many old ladies in stories. He named her “Silver Hair,” (Treasury of Pleasure Books for Young Children, 1849). Other versions soon followed, with the girl called “Silver Locks” and “Golden Hair,” until she was finally deemed “Goldilocks,” in Old Nursery Stories and Rhymes, illustrated by John Hassall in 1904.
Jessie Wilcox Smith, 1911
I’m wondering:
Why older women were so frequently portrayed in a negative light in fairy and folk tales. Consider the preponderance of witches, bitches, hags, shrews, evil queens, vixens, stepmothers, and the above-mentioned interloper.
Why young girls were so often used to teach moral lessons.
Why Baby Bear is almost always male, garnering the most sympathy from the reader.
Still, I’m happy with how the bears were portrayed, right from the beginning. Whether all males or a family unit, clothed or unclothed, they were the model of good behavior — civilized, trusting, even sympathetic and forgiving. That’s good, because there are more humanized bears appearing in children’s stories than any other animal.
Here are my 3 favorite versions of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, out of the zillions available:
Goldilocks and the Three Bears, retold by Jim Aylesworth, pictures by Barbara McClintock (Scholastic Press, 2003). Traditional retelling with charmingly detailed illustrations rendered in ink, watercolour and gouache.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears, retold and illustrated by James Marshall (Dial, 1988). A Newbery Honor book, tongue-in-cheek version, with Goldie depicted as a deliciously naughty minx.
Goldie and the Three Bears, by Diane Stanley (HarperCollins, 2003). An original modernized take on the classic, with a more sympathetic Goldie and a new ending, which finally absolves Goldie of her longstanding cowardice.
Oh, Christopher says it’s time for breakfast.
Off to make some porridge.
Warning: Do not leave your bowl unattended.
Visit surlalunefairytales.com for more history, annotations, wonderful old illustrations, and modern interpretations of the tale.
Here’s an animated Three Bears to delight the child within.
See all the Teddy Bear and Friends Picnic posts here.
in the pink with irving and muktuk
“All my books were easy to write — doesn’t it show?”
~ Daniel Pinkwater
How could I not like Daniel Pinkwater?
Whenever I see his name I smile. I was thinking how this is a strange, conditioned response. I don’t know how or why it happens. Sure, he’s written around 100 books. And to be honest, it’s not like I’ve read dozens and dozens of them. I’ve read maybe ten. But they got to me. So much so, that whenever I see his name on a book, I put my Ugawawa mocassins on the wrong feet, step slightly to the left of center, and shift into giggle-and-snort mode. I just know it’s going to be good.
Hello. How could I not like a man who writes about polar bears and blueberry muffins?
So far, there are five titles in the Irving and Muktuk, Bad Bears, picture book series (ages 5-8). Trust me. This 9-foot tall pair with slitty, sneaky side eyes and galompo feet will have you rooting for them after the first page. Their main crime? Well, they do cheat each other at cards. But mostly they are motivated by the quest for muffins and more muffins, which results in questionable behavior, like, um, stealing.
In the first book, Irving and Muktuk: Two Bad Bears (Houghton Mifflin, 2001), we are introduced to the arctic town of Yellowtooth, which holds a Blueberry Muffin Festival every New Year. After Officer Bunny sees the bears trying to break into the muffin warehouse, he lures them into his station wagon, and has them airlifted by helicopter far above the Arctic Circle. The following New Year, the duo returns to Yellowtooth disguised as very large penguins. They are airlifted again and return three more times with different disguises, until Officer Bunny finally makes arrangements to have them relocated to the Bayonne Zoo.
when the going gets tough, the tough go to sonoma
Is your personal chef too lazy to cook these days?
Need a light, nutritious dish to savor out on the deck or by the pool?
Have no fear, Sonoma Chicken Salad is here!
You: “But I already know how to make chicken salad.”
I’m sure it’s quite delicious. But, ahem, this one is really really good. Think toasted pecans, red seedless grapes, crunchy celery, poppy seeds, and the bears’ favorite, honey. It is one of Whole Foods’ most requested recipes and my absolute favorite. Make some this weekend and share it with those you love. Yum!
If you’ve just joined us, you can catch up on all the Teddy Bear and Friends Picnic posts here. Remember, there’s still plenty of time for you to post pictures of your bears or blog about your favorite bear books, adventures or memories. Leave me a comment so I can link to you!!
the king of all teddies and a disaster
Oy. Cover your teddy bear’s eyes.
This is what probably made Elvis leave the building.
His 1909 brown Steiff bear named Mabel, valued at a cool $75,000, was on display at the Wookey Hole Caves, a children’s museum near Wells, England, when it met this tragic fate.
Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.
As a consolation, consider adopting one of these,
Love Me Tender Bear by Vermont Teddy Bear Co.
or bask in these classics by the one and only KING.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Jama's Alphabet Soup 