a letter to our better selves

~ jama
“Else’s Letter” by Caroline van Deurs (1918)
ELEGY FOR THE PERSONAL LETTER 
by Allison Joseph

I miss the rumpled corners of correspondence,
the ink blots and crossouts that show
someone lives on the other end, a person
whose hands make errors, leave traces.
I miss fine stationery, its raised elegant
lettering prominent on creamy shades of ivory
or pearl grey. I even miss hasty notes
dashed off on notebook paper, edges 
ragged as their scribbled messages—
can't much write now—thinking of you.
When letters come now, they are formatted
by some distant computer, addressed
to Occupant or To the family living at—
meager greetings at best,
salutations made by committee.
Among the glossy catalogs
and one time only offers
the bills and invoices,
letters arrive so rarely now that I drop
all other mail to the floor when
an envelope arrives and the handwriting
is actual handwriting, the return address
somewhere I can locate on any map.
So seldom is it that letters come
That I stop everything else
to identify the scrawl that has come this far—
the twist and the whirl of the letters,
the loops of the numerals. I open
those envelopes first, forgetting
the claim of any other mail,
hoping for news I could not read
in any other way but this.

~ from My Father's Kites. © Steel Toe Books, 2010.

*

I fell in love with letter-writing when I got my first penpal in second grade. Cindy lived in Erie, Pennsylvania, a world away from Hawaii, and I thought her life was positively exotic. Four distinct seasons, magical snowstorms, a huge lake!

What a thrill to receive genuine-for-real mail addressed to me! Such fun to describe what I was up to in my neatest hand. While in third grade, Cindy and I practiced our shaky cursive. It was nothing short of miraculous for my thoughts to cross an ocean and a continent to reach my special friend, all for only 4 cents!

I love envelope art!

I continued to correspond with many others via handwritten letters for decades, treasuring everything about it: cool stationery, fountain pens, sealing wax, interesting postage, tons of stickers, rubber stamps. The practice was a kind of meditation: you couldn’t rush when writing, and for those precious minutes your thoughts were solely focused on the recipient, whom you came to know intimately. Even if you had previously conversed in person, his/her letter voice was different, revealing subtler nuances of personality.

As the poem states, we’re hungry for the physicality of letters with actual handwriting, evidence that a human being wrote the words, mistakes and all. One’s handwriting tells yet another story: it’s unique to each individual and is actually “brain writing.” My love of penmanship led me to study handwriting analysis, which makes me covet personal letters even more. You can read the words on the page, but when you see how they were written, you can intuit mood, emotion, intention (there’s something so endearing and earnest about love professed in this way).

“My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you.” (John Keats to Fanny Brawne, 1819). *swoons*

While most of us bemoan the lost art of letter-writing, we must also acknowledge our role in its decline. After all, you must write letters in order to receive them. Ah, but the lure of email: expedient and cost effective, and in this day and age, necessary. Emails are talky but not tactile. What price for effective communication?

I still have cupboards full of stationery, boxes of rubber stamps, drawers full of stickers. My fountain pens have all run dry. I may write the occasional note on a greeting card, but that’s it. All I do is type type type, and my penmanship (nothing to brag about before), is now often illegible.

Emily Dickinson sometimes scribbled poems on the inside of flattened envelopes. Aren’t we lucky physical letters were the order of the day back then?

For now, I can’t part with any of my letter writing paraphernalia, probably because I’m still taken with the romantic notion of personal letters. On the rare occasion when I receive a handwritten missive, I treat it like a rare artifact, opening the envelope with care, then reading its contents slowly, savoring every word.

What about you? Do you still write personal letters? Do you miss receiving them?

*

🌺 2025 NPM KIDLITOSPHERE ROUNDUP 🌹

Can’t believe it’s almost April again! Are you doing a special Poetry Month project at your blog? If so, would love to include you in my annual roundup. I’ll probably post it next Friday, so please email me with your info — short description of what you’re doing + any graphic/icon + blog URL to: readermail (at) jamakimrattigan (dot) com. OR, you can leave your info in the comments of next week’s post. 🙂 Thanks — looking forward to hearing about your projects!

*

Lovely and talented Rose Cappelli is hosting the Roundup at Imagine the Possibilities. Sashay on over to check out the full menu of poetic goodness being served up around the blogosphere. Have a nice weekend and HAPPY SPRING!

*Copyright © 2025 Jama Rattigan of Jama’s Alphabet Soup. All rights reserved.


34 thoughts on “a letter to our better selves”

  1. I think that we would have been friends in the late 70s. Back then, I found a pen and nibs and an almost empty bottle of ink. I was completely taken with those items and began to practice writing with the pen and the different nibs. I kept that pen well into adulthood. There is something very special about an old fashioned, carefully crafted letter. A wonderful post, Jama. Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I still have an old pen with a set of nibs from over 30 years ago! I think calligraphy was a popular hobby back in the 70s, with different books and pen/nib sets available.

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  2. I love writing letters, and I have had a penpal for 61 years since the 1964 New York World’s Fair. Penny and I were both 13 at the time writing back and forth from Australia to New York on our groovy Norcross and Hallmark stationery! We actually met twice when she came all the way from Melbourne to the Bronx with her husband Bill. We still write every couple of months sharing family stories and books we are reading. When I receive her letters it brightens my day! Actually when Joe and I married 50 years ago we received a Western Union telegram from them. Have a great weekend everyone!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow! That’s incredible, Joanne!! 61 years is a long time. Kudos to both of you for keeping the connection going. I know how exciting it is to receive mail from another country too. Very cool. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. I have one college friend with whom I still sort-of semi-regularly exchange letters. But they’re getting fewer and further between.

    One of these days, I’m going to get brave and read the box of letters that mom and dad exchanged.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mom and Dad letters? What a treasure. Wonderful that they were saved and you now have them. I’m sure the day will come when you feel ready to read them.

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  4. What a cool story from Joanne! That’s a long pen pal relationship! I love getting cards. (I hardly ever receive letters.) The envelope art you share is beautiful and the poem takes me back… I remember when I was in college and getting love letters was SO EXCITING.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Can you imagine our kids and their kids will never know the thrill of receiving a hand written letter? They just file it away as ridiculous like free ranging in our neighborhoods with our friends until dusk (dinner!) … or long hours spent looking out the window thinking about things on a rainy day….😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s sad to think — BTW does your school teach cursive? Still don’t understand why it was discontinued. That was the beginning of the end of handwritten anything. Printing notes isn’t the same. Penmanship used to be a fine art — just ask John Hancock. 🙂

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      1. No more cursive… and there’s spellcheck for those pesky sight words😉Just a thought: maybe letter writing will come back into fashion like the turntable has! We will call it “doing it old school”😆

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  6. Love your post Jama, of course I love letters, they are an art form. The closest you get today are holiday cards in which some of us still hand ✍️ what’s happening and more. I teach a pen and ink and watercolor class and we use dip pens with nibs and other pens too. I draw with one and also a 🖋️ fountain pen, they require more attention. Art on envelopes is fun too! What a treat you created in this post-lovely art—long live letter writing ✍️ thanks!☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love that you teach a pen and ink and watercolor class, Michelle. Let’s hear it for dip pens!! I love seeing hand-drawn line work in art.

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  7. When I was 14, I had an Irish penpal, whom I later meant when my dad took us on a dream-come-true trip to Europe. My high school friend, Mary, who married a boy from our class, has lived in northern Minnesota for all of her adult life — no TV, no computers, outhouse, woodstove to cook on — she and her husband have worked together as border outfitters up there near Canada, and they hunt, ice fish, live off the land — and play board games, listen to ballgames on the radio and read. She is the only one (besides my mom) who has been a longterm penpal and oh, what delightful letters! Every Christmas she does a pen-and-ink card featuring a bird or wildlife of that area, and on the inside a hand lettered poem she has written. I have a boxful. Oh, what treasures! Thank you, dear Jama, for this post, for the beautiful, evocative poem, and for celebrating the lost art of letter writing. Watch your mailbox for a notecard from me . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure it was exciting to have an Irish penpal and then being able to meet in person! Very interesting about your friend Mary. You don’t often hear of people thriving with that lifestyle. We are so addicted to TV, computers, screens of any kind that it’s hard to fathom in this day and age. Good to know the two of you are keeping the art of letter writing alive.

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  8. My penpal in the 60s lived in England and called me her “pen friend” which seemed so British and quaint. She told me she loved “The Beatles.” The spelling and meaning puzzled me, since the “British Invasion” to the US was in the future. My mom had a penpal from Scotland who sent her a tartan handkerchief and pouch, which I have now, along with the letters

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had a penpal from Liverpool in the 60’s who also loved the Beatles. Loved when she sent me photos of the city. The British Invasion began in the mid 60s, so I’m confused as to your saying it took place in the future.

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  9. Your post is a treasure! I don’t write too many letters, but I do send out printed photos each month to a number of family members who don’t see them online. And of course, I write notes. I perhaps send out 4 or 5 additional cards each month–short notes, but hopefully more connection than an email. My husband says I keep Trader Joe’s greeting card section sold out :>)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Keep sending those personal notes, Laura! Definitely a nice touch rather than emailing everything — which reminds me I need to start using some of the greeting cards I have squirreled away for years.

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  10. Thanks Jama– and hooray for letters! Personally, I like making sticker-laden cards for people. They’re fun to make and to receive!

    My poetry month project is going to be to write at least 20 poems inspired by images held in freely available government databases– National Archives, Library of Congress, NASA, etc.., focusing especially on aspects of history and science that the Trump administration is trying to erase. I’m hoping to create a little archive of my own.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hooray! Good to know you’re also a sticker fiend, Sarah. Love your NPM project idea. It’s maddening (and a crime) to try to erase those parts of history one doesn’t like or agree with. Weren’t these the same folks who were up in arms about leftist cancel culture? Talk about hypocrisy.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Thank you for this, Jama! You reminded me of how much fun it was to use sealing wax. I remember writing letters to a pen pal for a while and to my cousins. Letters are so rare anymore, but such treasures.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Sealing wax was a fad back in the day. It was fun choosing different wax colors and stamps. I don’t think the PO liked my sealing wax letters, though — they got stuck in the sorting machines and had to be hand-cancelled.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Loved this post, Jama! It evokes the magical feelings and sweet memories of receiving a hand-written note or letter. Our heart-hand-brain connections are still there–we need only to revive them. Mahalo nui loa for this paean to writing from the heart. Aloha!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I miss getting handwritten letters. There is something so special about someone taking time to write a letter. I don’t write many anymore, but I send a lot of greeting cards with long notes in them. I love everything about this post, Jama. You always share something amazing! Thank you!

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  14. Marvelous and beautiful poem, Jama, and I can relate your letter-writing history. ❤️ I had pen pals starting in 3rd grade (one in Indiana and one in England) and we wrote faithfully for several years. I loved stationery, fountain pens, and all the attendant accessories. There was magic in letters. There still is and I miss them! (And yet I don’t do much to further the “Save the Letters!” cause.) 🙂

    Thanks for another beautiful and thoughtful post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Having penpals was definitely a magical experience, glad you can relate! One would think that technology has made some things easier and faster to do, leaving us more time for letter writing — but apparently not.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I continue to be a letter writer. Valentine’s Day and May Day are two of my favorite holidays to celebrate by sending notes in the mail I also love reading epistolary books.

    Thanks for this lovely post.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Loved your post. I remain a letter writer and have always agreed with John Donne that “letters mingle souls.” Happy (very belated) New Year, Jama.

    Liked by 2 people

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